


Along Came a Duck with a Tweet on its Back

by sleeping_souls



Series: four ducks of the apocalypse [1]
Category: K-pop, VIXX, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: BTS members - Freeform, Crack, EXO Members - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, K-pop References, Mostly nonsense, Multi, Social Media, Some Plot, Some real feelings, vixx members
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-10-26 21:36:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17753918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeping_souls/pseuds/sleeping_souls
Summary: FOUR DUCKS OF THE APOCALYPSE[Teeny Satan]Laaaaydeez…..[Instabae Hyunggie]Those dots don't sound good[Goldenest Maknae]Spill the juice *-*[Teeny Satan]I....How do I politely say….[Leadah Hen]Say what? Are you okay??[Teeny Satan]That I kindaMaybeSortaDefinitelyFucked upWherein Ara never meant to insinuate she'd cannibalise Kim Seokjin, Miya will fight Jeon Jungkook with her bare fists, Qiuyue wants to avoid Hongbin in peace and Minah wants to not so subtly stare at Jung Taekwoon. And they also need to work on their solo songs now. Chop-chop.





	1. Thunder from the Blue Sky

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from the Japanese proverb "a duck comes along and a leek on its back" which means to have very good fortune come your way. 
> 
> The titles of chapters will mostly be Japanese proverbs because I love them. I will try my best to provide accurate explanations.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ara did not mean to insinuate cannibalism. She doesn't promote it. Seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title for this chapter means "a sudden or unexpected event"

**You have 1 new message.**

 

**FOUR DUCKS OF THE APOCALYPSE**

 

_[Teeny Satan]_

_Laaaaydeez….._

 

_[Instabae Hyunggie]_

_Those dots don't sound good_

 

_[Goldenest Maknae]_

_Spill the juice *-*_

 

_[Teeny Satan]_

_I....How do I politely say…._

 

_[Leadah Hen]_

_Say what? Are you okay??_

 

_[Teeny Satan]_

_That I kinda_

_Maybe_

_Sorta_

_Definitely_

_Fucked up_

 

 

You see, it starts like this. On a Sunday morning, with a lull in between comebacks, where the girls actual have a morning with no schedules, Ara wakes up, surprisingly fresh after last night's impromptu four people party. The sun barely comes in through the thick curtains. Miya is still dead asleep from the sound of it even though they're separated by the newly constructed IKEA bookshelf between them. Ara breathes. Today she would take things extra slow. Browse the internet. Read a book. Find a small cafe. Take a walk. Slow. Very slow.

She opens Twitter and looks through the app, realising their shared account has been hit by several thousand notifications all of which seem to be stemming from one specific tweet.

 

 **@BTS_twt** : _I found this song on my Spotify and it really cheered me up. Thank you~_

_#sunday_morning_rain_is_falling #seokjinnie_

 

Under it is a screenshot of the Spotify page to their latest song “Mermaid Tears”, produced by Miya and written by all of them as a random weekday project, it was meant to be contradictory to it's title. Happy. Hopeful even. Ara smiled at the thought of it cheering anyone. But fans of both groups had lost it inevitably and she retweeted the original tweet with a short thank you before answering some fan comments.

 

 **@duckcentral** : _Jin really liked this song @KAMO_tweets!! I mean not to be nsfw or anything but I want a collab!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

Ara smiles. Collab, with Jin, hilarious thought, pleasant dream but absolutely zero possibility. Regardless she replies.

 **@KAMO_tweets** : _I really admire Jin-sunbaenim and his work ethics. He's really delicious! #honoured #ara_

And replies. And turns on LINE music, puts on her EPIK HIGH playlist and her sneakers. And walks out the door. And pays no attention to the damning mistake.

 

“Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to witness the international scandal of Cho Ara.”

Ara groans as Miya cackles and slaps her on the back. Minah looks like she's one stone's throw away from bursting out into tear inducing laughter and Qiuyue stares at the ceiling to draw strength from it perhaps. Or to stop herself from laughing as well.

“Miya,” she says, her voice cracking a little. There's a pause where she clears her throat and looks at their pacing manager. “I mean, it was an honest mistake. You have to grant that.”

“Even if she meant it,” says Minah and proceeds to cackle, collapsing into Miya who laughs wirh her.

“Dedicated. I meant _dedicated_ , I swear!” Ara cries from behind her hands. She had been interrupted in her morning jog by a horrified Qiuyue who had been woken up by her phone buzzing with tweets all of them some version of “Ara thinks Jin is delicious”. Ara, finding the cause of the problem had deleted the tweet and then rushed home, having dropped her coffee on the sidewalk in shock.

The manager sighs and looks at her phone. Her eyebrows rise slightly. “PR says we're in the clear.” Everyone sits up a little at that. Clear? “Somehow,” she says, with a heatless glare at Ara. “People think it's hilarious and the majority of the comments online are making memes out of it.” She pronounces it “mee-mees” but no one dares correct her. “Make an apology tweet,” she points at Ara. “And for God's sake someone proofread it before she sends it.” With that Haeyeon, stalks out of the small apartment, presumably to enjoy the rest of her Sunday. Or murder people. One never knew with Haeyeon.

As the door clicks behind her, Qiuyue bursts out laughing, which causes Miya and Minah to laugh again while Ara stares at them with her lips pursed.

“Yes laugh at my funeral,” she says, pulling out her phone to begin the draft to her apology.

“Oh my God,” says Miya between. “She's going to Eat Jin.” And the three of them collapse once again.

“Omnomnom,” says Qiuyue between giggles.

“OmnomTP,” says Minah solemnly and then breaks into laughter again.

“Nobody is eating anyone!” And then pointing at the three of them still snickering on the couch, she says,” Hongbin! Jungkook! Donghae!!” Like banishment spells. Sadly, the suggestion of cannibalism is far greater than the great and powerful names and Ara has to return to the apology message while everyone continues to go around the house, occasionally laughing at her.

 

Fortunately, Ara thinks, Kamonegi is in their third year of promotions and with a relatively stable fanbase. Or she'd have been banished to the basement, with no contact with the outside world for years. Being a meme was better than being a social outcast. So a meme she would be.

Kamonegi…. She still remembers the meeting with the CEO, when he'd excitedly announced the name to them. 火真根義 or “the deliberation of the true root of fire” is what he had said. A name he had come up with after much consultation of Wikitionary. He'd seemed so excited that everyone had just smiled and nodded.

“We're screwed,” whispered Ara in the elevator. “Kamonegi…. Oh my god.”  

Three pairs of eyes turn to her inquisitively. Still keeping her voice low and out of earshot of their manager, Ara had said,

“Kamo-negi…. Duck-leek. We've been named after a bird and a vegetable. Oh my God.”

“Four ducks of the apocalypse,” Minah had said, staring forward as the doors opened. “Here we come.”

 

Ara sighs again, reading over her tweet carefully this time.

 **@KAMO_tweets** : _Dear everyone, this morning I sent out a tweet that might seem to some as offensive and rightfully so. But, it wasn't my intention. I have nothing but respect for Kim Seokjin sunbaenim. I was careless and I apologise for any distress I caused. I hope to be more cautious about my tweets here on. Please have a good Sunday and listen to our single. My group mates put a lot of effort into it. I love you all. #ara_

 

For the second time that morning, she closes Twitter, turns on some music and steps out to go on her interrupted jog.  


	2. Not Entering the Tiger's Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Goldenest Maknae]  
> Oh my god?! Hallelujah!! Get your wedding folder. Hyunggie. I'm so happy for you. I'll be your best woman. 
> 
> [Teeny Cannibal]  
> Bleeping finally? I really thought I was going to have to tie Taekwoon and Minah together. 
> 
> [Instabae Hyunggie]  
> Hold the folders. And the ropes.
> 
> [Leadah Hen]  
> He sent it to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This title comes from the proverb "if you don't enter the Tiger's den, you won't catch the cub", the English version of which is "nothing ventured, nothing gained".

You have 1 new message. 

 

THE FOUR DUCKS OF THE APOCALYPSE

 

[Instabae Hyunggie]

Hellowz. Ara, Miya, you're being summoned.

 

[Teeny Satan]

Here!

 

[Goldenest Maknae]

I'm here Hoomans! Wait. 

 

Goldenest Maknae changed Teeny Satan to Teeny Cannibal

 

[Goldenest Maknae]

Proceed. 

 

[Teeny Cannibal]

I am not!?? Nobody is eating anybody -.-*

 

[Leadah Hen]

Shh. That's unimportant. Listen. Taekwoon sent a sandwich. 

 

[Goldenest Maknae]

Oh my god?! Hallelujah!! Get your wedding folder. Hyunggie. I'm so happy for you. I'll be your best woman. 

 

[Teeny Cannibal]

Bleeping finally? I really thought I was going to have to tie Taekwoon and Minah together. 

 

[Instabae Hyunggie]

Hold the folders. And the ropes.

 

[Leadah Hen]

He sent it to me. 

  
  
  


On Friday morning, two days A.T. (after tweet), the memes of Ara as Hannibal Lecter and Seokjin as Clarice are only getting worse. Memes are better than the basement, everyone chants at her whenever she complains so Ara resigns herself to her fate and hopes to high hell she doesn't come across the person in question.

 

On Friday morning, which is a little dull and misty, Qiuyue and Minah wake up at five am, bundle up and then leave for their scheduled Inkigayo appearance. 

 

Ah Inkigayo. The land of the brave and free. Home to the famed, the inedible— Hermes to the cause of love— the Inkigayo Sandwich. 

 

Kamonegi is not unpopular by any means. So in their three year run they've been at the receiving end of several sandwiches. Usually these are received with reactions varying from Miya and Minah devouring them without ever looking inside to Ara screaming bloody murder and pushing them away with the end of her foundation brush. Qiuyue is somewhere milder on that scale. Eating the sandwich but checking for the name so she could both thank and apologize. She's gained infamy for her inevitable but quiet, “thank you, that was very kind of you but I'm afraid I can't accept more than the sandwich.” 

 

As opposed to, “number? What number? Where number?” Or, “eww…. There's paper inside my sandwich.” Or, “murder sandwich!! This is an attempted assassination. A declaration of war!” 

  
  


So, when Qiuyue sees the sandwich sitting on her makeup station next to the Cordi-unnie's makeup bag, she's not surprised. What is surprising is the lack of paper. 

 

“So mystery sandwich huh,” says Hyojin, as she drapes an arm over Qiuyue's shoulders. Qiuyue looks unbothered. “Someone saw Hongbin outside your dressing room and by someone I mean Hani, so…”

 

“No,” yelps Qiuyue. “No,” she adds quietly. “Seriously… why would he? Anyway, forget the….  _ situation, _ ” she hisses as they pass one of the newly debuted boy groups eagerly waiting their soundcheck. They bow several times over and one nudges the other. Hyojin steels her look and they quail. 

 

“Oh right,” she says. “I've got us all a reservation at the new place in Hongdae. It's all very hush hush because we couldn't get too many seats so keep it to the four of you.” 

 

“I'll ask Manager-unnie,” Qiuyue says and for a moment allows herself to bask in the glow of a good meal and better friends that the offer promised. The idol life, no matter how fast paced, severely lacked in the social department. Having friends like Hyojin who took it upon themselves to keep planning events with flimsy excuses, helped a lot. “Thank you, seriously, you didn't have to.” 

 

Hyojin waves a hand in dismissal. 

 

“Shush. I'll catch you later. All the best and I'll see if I can find something out about about your….  _ situation _ .” 

 

Qiuyue sighs. 

  
  


Minah chews on her nails while staring at her script. Part of doesn't understand why they'd assigned her to the MC role no matter how much her teammates reminded her that she'd been very well liked as an MC when they had first debuted. Being an MC though was infinitely better than being on a variety show. 

 

“Coffee?” 

 

She jumps, and spots Jung Taekwoon holding out a Starbucks cup. She looks around wildly out of habit. Sure people here look out for each other but you could never trust a loose tongue or worse, some unknown desire for revenge. 

 

“Thanks,” she says and takes it from him. In the years since their first meeting, Minah and Taekwoon have reached a quiet understanding, wrapped in between the breakfasts at VIXX's dorm or the various lunches snuck in between music shows. Taekwoon understands her, understands what it's like to hate the constant gaze of the camera as an idol. In spite of being an idol. Even though they're supposed to have “signed up for this” and not complain because “do you know how many people would kill to be in your place?” Even so Minah just wants to sing and sometimes the brunt of the attention was too much to bear. Knowing someone like Taekwoon survived in this environment gave her some comfort. 

 

“I…” Taekwoon scratches the back of his neck. “I heard you… there was a sandwich in your waiting room?” 

 

“Has the news spread already?” Minah wonders and then wonders why Taekwoon had any interest in any of this. “Yeah Qiuyue got one but there was no phone number? So…” She shruggs.

 

“Say that again.” 

 

“Yue got a sandwich?” 

 

Minah swears she sees Taekwoon's left eye twitch. He looks over at the soundstage where Qiuyue is running lines with Hongbin. 

 

“I must go,” he says abruptly and stalks off in her direction leaving Minah very confused with her coffee. Taekwoon had somewhat adopted Qiuyue as a sister but surely he wouldn't care that much about her getting a sandwich. 

  
  


Qiuyue reads the very stilted dialogue from her cue card, pausing to look at Hongbin while he reads his not knowing he does the exact same thing as soon as she looks down. They've been this way since time immemorial although Qiuyue swears to herself it's a one sided thing. Though she'd never admit it out loud. For anyone else's reference, Hongbin is an insufferable brat and he can stuff it. 

 

This time when Qiuyue lifts her head, she catches Hongbin's eye and his smile. Unfortunately, Hongbin has a very pretty smile. Although before she has time to consider it further she spots Taekwoon stalking over in their direction looking like a man on a mission. Before she has a chance to greet him he stretches out his hand.

 

“Give me my sandwich.” 

 

“Excuse me?” Says Qiuyue and Hongbin looks very confused. 

 

“You have my sandwich. I'd like it back.” 

 

“ _ You _ … gave me the sandwich?” Asks Qiuyue in a hushed whisper. “Why would you do that, gege?!” 

 

“A  _ very _ ,” begins Taekwoon sending a seething glare at Hongbin. “Very incompetent intern gave it to you instead of putting it on my table.” 

 

“Why would—?” 

 

“Incompetent. Intern. Can't deal with them.” Taekwoon says between gritted teeth and then leaves with a last glare at Hongbin. 

 

“What… the hell?” Whispers Qiuyue, looking around to see if anyone has overhead. 

 

“He's… y'know?” Says Hongbin with a nervous grin. 

 

Qiuyue doesn't know but the smile makes it very hard to think about anything else. 

  
  


“That was totally meant for Minah,” says Ara later as they're eating dinner. “It doesn't make sense otherwise. There's incompetent interns but nobody's  _ that _ incompetent.” 

 

“It makes no sense,” agrees Minah chewing on her rice carefully. “But I don't think he meant it for me. Maybe he does like Yue.” 

 

“Ew,” says Yue. “Don't be blasphemous. It was for you. I wonder why he was glaring at the Bean though…?” 

 

“Worried about the love of your life, Madré?” Grins Miya while helping herself to some of the chicken. “I agree, that was probably meant for Hyungaroo.” 

 

Minah shakes her head. Not that the idea of Taekwoon sending her a sandwich was remotely unappealing. The very opposite. But he'd never do something that contrived, would he? Not when he could easily have asked Sanghyuk for her number. Or asked her directly. She says the past bit out, adding a shrug at the end.

 

“Nah,” says Ara. “Love makes us do crazy things.” She leans back into her chair and scrolls through her phone. “Like making Jie go mooney-eyed over Hongbin sunbae. Don't think we didn't notice the looks we—” She freezes and looks up with a guilty smile. “Ladies… umm… I'm trending on twitter again.” 


	3. Might as Well Swallow the Plate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ara's popularity on twitter reaches new heights (depths?) and Miya "flirts" at a sports store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This proverb comes from "if you're poisoned, might as well swallow the plate" or more simply, if you're already doomed, might as well carry on finishing the job.

 

The story starts in 2015, the date— BTS’ release of their  _ Hwa Yeong Yeon Hwa _ album. Miya introduces Ara to the album who fixates on, among many songs, Converse High. Later, Ara will blame it all on post rehearsal adrenaline and hush any and all attempts to argue with it. Later. But on that evening in 2015, Miya is live on Instagram introducing their slowly growing fanbase, post their very successful  _ QUEEN _ comeback, to their practice rooms. 

 

Qiuyue shows everyone fun stretches they can try at home, Minah recommends her current favourite songs from Super Junior's albums and Miya brings the camera over to the corner were Ara has head headphones in and is bobbing her head along with the inaudible music. 

 

“Ara! What’chu listening to?” Miya sits down next to her and Ara waves into the camera with her usual enthusiasm in spite of the five hour grueling practice. The smile is a knee-jerk response at this point. She unplugs the headphones and the first few notes of Converse High filters out. 

 

“Converse High, by BTS sunbaenim!” She says and Miya grins. 

 

“I loved the album but Ara's obsessed!” 

 

Ara giggles. 

 

“Post-rehearsal haze”, present-Ara maintains. 

 

“Yeah, I really love how fun this song is,” says 2015-Ara and then, because she's listened to this song for a total of thirty times in one day, she joins in with Namjoon's rap. But her voice is about three octaves higher than normal and giggly. Not like she's actually rapping. She adds hand gestures to follow along with the words of the rap, rendering it like a nursery rhyme until the end of Hoseok's verse where she says “ _Namjoonie_ _mollae_ ” with a wink and then promptly doubles over giggling. And Miya lets her. 

  
  


“Why did you let me?!” Ara wails, slamming her head into the table as they all watch the footage that has somehow been discovered, saved on someone's hard drive. It's been trending over an hour now and Ara watches in horror as more and more fans tag BTS in their responses to the original. 

 

“No no,” says Miya. “Wait for it….. a~nd here! Yeah the flying kiss is the best.” 

 

Minah clutches her stomach and wheezes, “That voice…. We've been called baby voice but what is that voice?!” 

 

“Okay,” says Qiuyue. “The bad news is that some people are pressed you called their oppa  _ Namjoonie _ but the good thing is most people think it's cute and there's demands for you covering Agust D in that voice.”

 

Ara chokes on her water. 

 

“Hey,” says Miya patting her back. “This is better than the dungeon.” 

 

“Oh hey Ara,” says Minah with a slow grin spreading across her face. Ara quails a little and shrinks into her chair. Minah turns her phone towards everyone. “Look who joined the party,” she sings. 

 

**@BTS_twt:** _ This is an interesting interpretation of Converse High. I'm curious about the Agust D cover too #RM  _

 

Ara wants to die somewhere far away from here. 

  
  
  


“Are we sure it's wise for me to be out?” Ara asks as she adjusts the hood of her black sweatshirt over her head. With the bangs visible under the hood and the mask covering her face, she might as well be any random Korean male. Miya is dressed in lighter pastels, but she adds a snapback and a mask to hide her face as far as possible. Sports stores aren't exactly fan hang out spots so they should be safe. 

 

“Girl, one day your presence on Twitter is going to get us killed. Until that day, we're cool,” Miya says as she holds the door open for the older to enter. As she closes the door behind her, Miya notices the tall figure standing near the back wall of the store, near the gloves and the other sportswear. Ara follows her gaze and then smirks. 

 

“Lookie here,” she mutters as Miya rolls her eyes and busies herself with looking at…. an unidentifiable set of…. things. 

 

“He still has a hot ass,” Miya whispers. Ara's eyes widen. 

 

“Miya!” She hisses. “We’re in public!” 

 

“Oops! Sorry… uhh…. typo?” 

 

“This is a verbal conversation.” She sighs. “Go talk to him.” Ara intentionally bangs her metal ring against the hollow metal stand nearest to her and Jungkook turns around, eyes wide, as Ara escapes to the cash register to chat with the employee. Miya sends an awkward smile at Jungkook who raises an arm to wave and then drops it to scratch his neck and coughs. 

 

For a few seconds neither of them move and Miya's hand closes on thin air as she realises Ara's already halfway across the store noisily chatting up the employee who's very flattered by the attention. So she continues to smile and latches on to the nearest tennis racquet for emotional support. 

 

“Did you know, you're going to get carpal tunnel if you hold it like that,” she says abruptly and then shuts her mouth just as fast. Jungkook stares and Miya points her emotional support racquet at the bowling ball in his hand. “Horrible posture. You might have to get surgery. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome isn't a joke.” Jungkook shifts the ball into the crook of his elbow and moves closer to where she's standing. 

 

“I actually know how to hold it,” he states. Miya shrugs. 

 

“Just looking out for you. Wouldn't want to win unfairly because you got Carpal Tunnel.” 

 

“Would you stop saying Carpal Tunnel. My palm feels tingly just thinking about it,” Jungkook says and then rubs his right palm against his left elbow. 

 

“That's the Carpal Tunnel kicking in,” nods Miya gravely. “Oh well, looks like I'll be winning by default.” 

 

“Try me Kim Miya, try me.” 

 

You see, Miya and Jungkook's on and off rivalry had started one unfated day when a variety show host had mentioned them both as sports-dols. Miya had promptly claimed herself better, although nobody but she had been in the room at that point and the TV had remained unresponsive. When, later that month, they had been introduced through Yoongi, instead of a burning rivalry, they'd settled into an awkward acquaintance where neither of them quite knew what to make of the other but liked being in their presence nonetheless. 

 

“Oh you're so on, Jeon Jungkook. I can't wait to decimate you on Saturday. Don't get Carpal Tunnel just yet.” 

 

“Sorry to break this up but manager Unnie wants us back at rehearsals.” 

 

Both Miya and Jungkook look down at Ara. Jungkook's eyes turn wide a second time. 

 

“Oh my God,’ he says in a high pitched voice. “It's  _ you _ . This is like meeting a celebrity. I have to tell Namjoon-hyung and Jin-hyung. They're going to be so jealous. They've been talking about you all day.” 

 

Ara really wants to die somewhere far away from here. 

  
  


**_@joonjoonies_wifie_ ** _ : this bitch and a half needs to stay in her lane and learn to respect her sunbae. His name is Kim Namjoon. Call him that.  _

 

**_@quackalicious_bae:_ ** _ not @ the pressed people who can't deal with Cho Ara being her meme.self. It's not that deep Janet.  _

 

**_@duckingcutie:_ ** _ okay but is nobody going to talk about how that one fan posted about seeing Miya and Ara walk into her store and then Ara flirted with her so she didn't hear a word of what Miya said to Jungkook from bts _

 

**_@ducklingsforpresident_ ** _ replied to  _ **_@duckingcutie_ ** _ : that legit sounds like an au lmao. Or a fever dream. Why would Ara be flirting with op??  _

 

**_@ducklingsforpresident_ ** _ : anyway trend #AGUSTD_ARA_STYLE _

**Author's Note:**

> The plot for this is random but it is there beneath all the randomness.  
> Please lemme know what you think or what you'd like to tweet at the girl's. 
> 
> Thanks!


End file.
